1. You are not famous.
2. You can TOTALLY be famous!
3. When you listen to the opening keynote speech about insecurity and vulnerability and think— I outgrew those in high school!— know that for the next three days, you will feel like a freshman who wandered into the senior prom without a date.
4. Bring your own water. People in Nashville somehow survive on only iced tea and lemonade.
5. Use your phone and laptop recharging time wisely. Or be prepared to fight another blogger to the death for a seat next to the outlet.
6. If someone asks you for a stack of business cards, do not say "Sure! I've got a whole box in my room!" You are mistaken. That box is back in New York. You will spend the remainder of the conference squandering your last two cards on the off chance you meet Oprah or George Clooney.
7. Those freebie moms will squash your fanpage and eat it for breakfast.
8. Don't waste your time trying to talk to people that aren't interested. There are plenty of people you can learn from who are inclusive and generous.
9. Be one of the people who is inclusive and generous.
10. Always pack a pair of presentable pajamas. You never know when you might have missed the Pajama Party memo.
11. Be prepared to feel inspired, discouraged, motivated, and crippled all within one hour session.
12. On the plane home you will meet one deluded person who says— "Oh my god, you're Mommy Shorts? You are TOTALLY FAMOUS!"
